Why Readiness Matters: Lessons from an OT and Mom

Lately, mealtimes in our home had become something we dreaded. What used to be a chance to nourish our little one became a full-blown battleground. Sitting still? Nope. Eating? A mission. Enjoyment? Long gone. We were all stressed, and our 16-month-old definitely picked up on the tension.

I’d find myself watching the clock, bracing for the chaos that was about to unfold—food on the floor, whining, negotiations over every bite. It wasn’t how we pictured family mealtimes. And honestly? I started feeling like I wasn't doing anything right. Then, in the middle of one particularly messy, chaotic dinner, I had a pause—and my OT (occupational therapy) brain kicked in.
What am I really trying to achieve here?
Was I just trying to get her to sit and eat? Or was I aiming for something much more meaningful?

That’s when the realisation hit: what I truly want is for her to develop a lifelong, positive relationship with food—not just eat what's on her plate today. I want mealtimes to be filled with connection, chatter, and calm—not pressure and power struggles.

I took a step back and asked myself what I would say to one of the mums I work with. I knew the answer: meet her where she is.

Because here's the truth: she wasn’t being difficult, she was just being 16 months old. She was developmentally on track—not defiant. And I needed to shift my expectations to match her capacity.

So, we made a few changes.

Instead of stressing about her sitting still or cleaning her plate, we turned mealtimes into something more playful, more toddler-friendly—something that actually makes sense for a busy little human with a short attention span and big curiosity.

We started:

• Shaping her food into fun, recognisable things (hearts, stars, bears—you name it).
• Offering child-friendly cutlery that actually felt good in her little hands.
• Using a placemat she picked out, turning her spot at the table into something familiar and special.
• Letting go of the “perfect” mealtime setup and focusing on connection over eating all her food.

And most importantly, we made space for conversation and connection—not performance.

We’d talk about colours on the plate, name the foods, sing little songs, and celebrate her efforts, even if she just poked at her food or fed it to the dog. Slowly but surely, the tension started to melt away.

This experience reminded me how often we, as parents, rush to outcomes without thinking about developmental readiness. At 16 months, it’s totally normal for a child to struggle with sitting still—yet we expect them to eat like tiny adults. We forget that they’re still learning everything: how to sit, chew, explore textures, manage their feelings, and navigate the world around them.

When we shift our lens and see things through their stage of development, everything softens. We stop fighting and start flowing. And suddenly, we can breathe again.

The environment matters too.

A child’s world needs to feel safe, fun, and inviting. From the chair they sit in to how the food is served, the setup can either support or sabotage their success.

Think about it this way: would you want to eat in a space where the chair is uncomfortable, there’s pressure to finish everything, and no one’s talking to you with kindness? Probably not. Our kids are no different. They thrive when we create spaces that meet their needs—not just our expectations.

So if you're in the thick of it—whether it’s mealtimes, sleep, play, or potty training—pause and ask:

• What am I actually trying to achieve?
• Is my child developmentally ready for this?
• Is our environment helping or making it harder?

Because when we pause to reflect, adapt, and connect—we get to build not just routines, but relationships. And that’s what truly shapes a child’s development.

The truth is, parenting is full of these moments—where we feel stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure. But those moments are also opportunities. To slow down. To get curious. To reconnect.

And sometimes, all it takes is a small shift to create a big change.